Posts Tagged ‘understanding’

Untitled

Posted: December 10, 2014 in Poetry, Relationships, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Of course I still think about you…
I just can’t afford to exude that amount of emotional effort only to relive prior love related tragedies…
Hate on you? Never that…
I’ll just admire you vicariously from a distance…
That’s my safest bet right now due to the wounds I’ve acquired battling to show you that I need you.
It’s hard not to expose my smile when I witness your capabilities and believe it or not, I still get that nervous feeling in my gut with just the thought of your glory.
I’m just a little more cautious and aware of the level of sanity I’m willing to risk while under your spell…
Truth is…
I’m beginning to realize that you are who you are…
You’re constant yet spontaneous
You’re consoling yet somewhat unstable
You’re inspiring yet nerve wrecking…
You are love.

-Nik πŸ’‹

Hey guys!!! Again I left another piece “untitled”… Of course I could’ve titled it the obvious… “Love”… But I wanted to see what you guys thought. Help me think outside the box. ☺️ Thanks for reading.

You offer me honesty now that you’ve decided you’re done, but I refuse to accept it…
Conversations about how I misinterpreted our situation only feels like a slap of rejection…
The love I felt and tears I’ve cried were nothing more than my heart overreacting to the faux feelings you projected.
I understand that “all is fair in love and war” and “when it’s over it’s over”…
But I can’t easily claim that frame of mind when everything felt so real.
Just pondering this one sided display of affection only stunts my progression…
Do I digress and repress the overwhelming feeling to assassinate my character through text or to make that anonymous call just to further explain the level of hurt I’m feeling (which by the way has been communicated countless times)?
Do I wreck my mind searching for reasons within myself to make sense of why his “love” has not nor will it ever reach the intensity of the love I feel?
When you hear “we’re through” or “I just don’t feel the same anymore”, is it emotionally immature to try to fight for what your heart won’t accept?
Fact is…
I’ve done all of those things more times than I’m willing to admit.
All the unnecessary shit we self induce to prevent accepting what’s apparent…
Maybe he isn’t ready…
Maybe it isn’t you he desires…
Maybe the love he once felt has expired…
Whatever the reason for the change of heart or mind, respecting and understanding that it’s time to move on is always obvious when words aren’t as kind and dispositions are always opposing.
I give up!!!
I can’t live another minute feeling reduced by my OWN actions…
I can’t begin another day wondering why and what could’ve been…
Reality has finally become undeniable and my ego and dignity has resurrected just in time to save me by uttering two simple words…
FUCK HIM…

-Nik
Xoxo

Sometimes all it takes is two simple words… Lol! We all have experienced that one person that’s so hard to emotionally detach ourselves from no matter how hard we try. Being someone who lived in this nightmare more than a few times, my advice is to just let it burn… No matter how hard it is to let go of what you believe you love, you have to make that step to free yourself. You’re worth so much more than what you’re allowing yourself to become. Tell me your thoughts and experiences surrounding this topic! When do you stop trying? Do you try even when you know it’s over? I’d love to hear what you guys think! πŸ’‹