Posts Tagged ‘love’

Untitled

Posted: December 10, 2014 in Poetry, Relationships, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Of course I still think about you…
I just can’t afford to exude that amount of emotional effort only to relive prior love related tragedies…
Hate on you? Never that…
I’ll just admire you vicariously from a distance…
That’s my safest bet right now due to the wounds I’ve acquired battling to show you that I need you.
It’s hard not to expose my smile when I witness your capabilities and believe it or not, I still get that nervous feeling in my gut with just the thought of your glory.
I’m just a little more cautious and aware of the level of sanity I’m willing to risk while under your spell…
Truth is…
I’m beginning to realize that you are who you are…
You’re constant yet spontaneous
You’re consoling yet somewhat unstable
You’re inspiring yet nerve wrecking…
You are love.

-Nik 💋

Hey guys!!! Again I left another piece “untitled”… Of course I could’ve titled it the obvious… “Love”… But I wanted to see what you guys thought. Help me think outside the box. ☺️ Thanks for reading.

Constantly opposing…
My mind and my heart; two realms where the bulk of my ego reigns supreme.
The never ending struggle between my wants and desires is driving me to a place of emotional insanity…
I’m literally losing my fucking mind!
Do I stand up for myself and walk away with the ounce of dignity I’ve retained???
Or… Do I give it my all for the whatever teenth time in hopes of a different outcome???
Constant conflict…
A disagreement that has branded me with the emotional scars on the battlefield of a self diminishing situationship.
I can’t help to be pessimistic when my last hope forced to referee this ongoing battle just so happens to rule the part of me that declares me all woman…
So warm, so tight, so wet, so sweet, so deep, so right…
I’m fucked with no sign of a truce in sight…

-Nik

You offer me honesty now that you’ve decided you’re done, but I refuse to accept it…
Conversations about how I misinterpreted our situation only feels like a slap of rejection…
The love I felt and tears I’ve cried were nothing more than my heart overreacting to the faux feelings you projected.
I understand that “all is fair in love and war” and “when it’s over it’s over”…
But I can’t easily claim that frame of mind when everything felt so real.
Just pondering this one sided display of affection only stunts my progression…
Do I digress and repress the overwhelming feeling to assassinate my character through text or to make that anonymous call just to further explain the level of hurt I’m feeling (which by the way has been communicated countless times)?
Do I wreck my mind searching for reasons within myself to make sense of why his “love” has not nor will it ever reach the intensity of the love I feel?
When you hear “we’re through” or “I just don’t feel the same anymore”, is it emotionally immature to try to fight for what your heart won’t accept?
Fact is…
I’ve done all of those things more times than I’m willing to admit.
All the unnecessary shit we self induce to prevent accepting what’s apparent…
Maybe he isn’t ready…
Maybe it isn’t you he desires…
Maybe the love he once felt has expired…
Whatever the reason for the change of heart or mind, respecting and understanding that it’s time to move on is always obvious when words aren’t as kind and dispositions are always opposing.
I give up!!!
I can’t live another minute feeling reduced by my OWN actions…
I can’t begin another day wondering why and what could’ve been…
Reality has finally become undeniable and my ego and dignity has resurrected just in time to save me by uttering two simple words…
FUCK HIM…

-Nik
Xoxo

Sometimes all it takes is two simple words… Lol! We all have experienced that one person that’s so hard to emotionally detach ourselves from no matter how hard we try. Being someone who lived in this nightmare more than a few times, my advice is to just let it burn… No matter how hard it is to let go of what you believe you love, you have to make that step to free yourself. You’re worth so much more than what you’re allowing yourself to become. Tell me your thoughts and experiences surrounding this topic! When do you stop trying? Do you try even when you know it’s over? I’d love to hear what you guys think! 💋

It never fails… I always find myself being that friend with all of the answers when it comes to love and relationships. But how??? How could I’ve possibly been deemed relationship guru when I’m beyond clueless when it comes to applying my advice to my own life? I’m not positively sure why but, I’m guessing it has something to do with the correlation of wisdom and
experience. You see, my friends all know that I’ve been through more than enough when speaking of toxic
relationships and the drama that comes along with it. Therefore, “He who has been dragged through the gutter has to have picked up some valuable trinkets/knowledge on the
way.” LOL!

Its 2:49 am… My phone rings. My mind immediately tells me it’s either an after the club booty call or, one of my girlfriends will be on the other end yelling and/or crying about her current failing “situationship”. Almost 87
percent of the time it’s one of my girlfriends… Surprised it wasn’t a booty call??? Pardon me but I’m a lady!!! LOL! I sit up in bed and begin to explain why we shouldn’t be having this conversation AGAIN in my most
therapeutic voice (for calming purposes of course). I tell her, just because we crave change in a man doesn’t mean it’s going to be realized. Don’t stunt your growth by
allowing the stagnation of someone else dictate your emotional well being. Stand up for yourself! Take accountability for what YOU keep allowing to occur. Respect should always be required at all times. Just as always, I hear a deep sigh… My girlfriend then says, “You know what? You’re right… I’m home now. I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you girlfriend! Thank you!”

I hang up the phone and sit there in complete silence. How the hell did I manage to give out such sound, matter of fact advice when my relationship status is almost always in a state of anarchy? You mean to tell me I could’ve just told myself the same exact shit and I would’ve been rid of all
of my emotional turmoil. Unbelievable!!!!!! Smh… LOL! This
has to be one of thee most frustrating, borderline hypocritical modes of self torture. It just proves that we really do possess the knowledge necessary to heal ourselves from self inflicted emotional distress. We just choose not
to take heed or listen to the one person that knows us best. Instead we consistently and knowingly replay the same hurtful circumstances and look for persons or things to blame for our unhappiness. It’s about time we all take accountability for our own emotional sanity.

-Nik
xoxo

Royalty

Posted: August 20, 2014 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , ,

A real man will always notice the presence of a Queen
He’ll befriend her
He’ll court her
He’ll treat her with the upmost respect and shower her with affection
He’ll understand the role he’s trying to acquire and takes the time and exudes the effort to create a level of trust that shatters any form of insecurity
He’ll motivate her to take on tasks unimaginable and pushes her to conquer all of her fears
He’ll make love to her without any physical contact but by caressing her mind and soul until her spirit explodes beyond any orgasmic experience she’s ever encountered
He’ll support her not only financially, (He’s well aware that a true Queen can handle things of a monetary nature on her own), he supports her goals and aspirations
He’ll straighten out her crown when the negativities of the world have tilted it by way of obstacles that linger day in and day out while constantly proving to his Queen that she has the ability to keep pushing while maintaining her confidence and poise
He’ll go the distance to ensure her happiness but he understands that this real man needs that same kind of love and respect in return from his potential Queen
Fore this is the only way he can truly assume his position as King.